셋

if i truly, truly think about it. i haven't been happy in a really long time. i've felt short bursts of happiness or have been happy at the moment but it has never lasted more than a couple days. i remember back in high school where i would be happy for months at a time. i miss those days. i want to obtain certain things or i want certain things to occur and they never seem to turn out in my favor. my friend told me that this is a way of testing my faith. testing my strength. and testing what kind of person i am. and while what he says makes sense and while i really want to come out of this test on the positive side, i just can't help but think why don't i deserve long-term happiness. why can't he be the person i want him to be for me.

how can a single person bring you so up and so down.