after the rain

you know those crisp, clear nights that always follow a storm or heavy rain? those nights that are so nice that it makes having endured those days of wetness almost worth it? well, they are my favorite. everything smells better, looks more lush and feels more healthy. when i was little, i was under the impression that the weather would change with my mood just like a mood ring. it made me feel really powerful because whenever i was sad, it would rain. whenever i was angry, it would be an overcast day. and whenever i was happy, it would be sunny out. i guess, in a sense, that mentality hasn't really changed. don't get me wrong, i know that my mood doesn't affect the weather but more so that the weather somewhat affects my mood. this much-needed break from the rain brought a little more light to the dark, twisted place i was in. so cheers!

cheers to: clear nights, best friends, my dance family, korean dramas, lunar eclipses, winter break, and smart phones.

boo to: work, not needing to go "bra shopping", heartache, sleep deprivation, and the scary things in life.

clover, wishbone, penny

i am in desperate need of a four-leaf clover. or the bigger half of the wishbone. or the lincoln side of the penny. because lately, i've been feeling like one of those cartoon characters that is constantly being followed by a rain cloud over their head. sometimes i'll feel like the cloud has finally found someone better to annoy but as soon as i look up to check, one pesky drop of water somehow escapes and reminds me that its owner has not left. because i am not particularly fond of this illustration, i always try to avoid instances that could bring upon this rain cloud. i mean, i wouldn't call myself an extremely superstitious person but if i can refrain from stepping on a crack while i walk or not knocking over some salt at a restaurant, i will. despite being careful about these sorts of things, i feel like someone stuck a "kick me" sign on my back and everyones taking turns honoring that sign. too many similes and metaphors i know, but i guess that's just how i feel like ranting right now. i need that four-leaf clover because i cannot sleep. i am so worn down and mentally exhausted that i am craving sleep but my body just won't let me. i am up until about 5 every morning until i force myself to close my eyes and pass out for a couple hours. i need the bigger half of the wishbone because i meet the wrong guys. you would think that two wrongs will make a right, but not for me. i meet two wrong guys, it just brings me more wrongs. and because of this, my trust issues are growing to massive proportions and the invisible wall i put up is getting much more visible than i would like. i need the lincoln side of the penny because i need all the luck i can get to dig myself out of the perpetual hole i've created because of all the stress, ridiculous people, and lack of motivation i have in my life. enough said. so if anyone stumbles upon a four-leaf clover, wishbone, or a lucky penny...send it my way? thanks.

just dance

lately i've found myself hanging out with my dance friends a lot. i don't know how it happens but i feel really lucky to be surrounded by such good company. my only regret is having met them so late. thanks to all of you for inspiring me to want to pursue dance more seriously. thank you for listening to my problems, making me laugh, and teaching me new things. love you all.


cheers to: dance, the Tech museum, psycho donuts, tricking, birthday parties, and dubstep

boo to: the fact that all good guys are either gay or taken