those lazy hazy crazy summer days

basking in the sun

my goodness, what is in the water these days? lately, i've been feeling so content that i catch myself humming from time to time. on a impossibly lighter note, i've also been catching myself daydreaming a lot. now perhaps it's because i spend about six hours confined to a musty, old classroom when i could be elsewhere or maybe it's all this warm, summery weather that's getting to my head. whichever it is, i actually don't mind it all that much. these daydreams actually remind me of how lucky i am. my daydreams allowed me to go back to the picnics, car rides, park adventures, long walks, beach days we've had. today's daydream in particular wasn't as pleasant but allowed me to relive possibly the worst fight i've ever had with my friend. looking back at it, the argument seems rather silly and unnecessary, but at the moment, every word seemed scary and threatening. i remember nothing seemed to mean much anymore because we weren't friends at the moment. as much as i despise fighting with my friends, i am a strong believer in that they actually help friendships become stronger and more real. i know, sounds crazy, but it's true.

now because there are very few people in my life that i actually care enough to fight with and because i have trust issues, i don't have very many best friends. but once you're in my inner circle, sorry man, it's virtually impossible to leave it. these people are my people. they are my secret-keepers, my good news sharers, my listen-to-every-damn-rant-i-have listeners, my crutches, and just about everything else i need. they are it. i never needed to be reminded that they are truly genuine and have my back, but with all the crap that i went through with people this year, that confirmation is set in stone and all of the toughest materials known to man combined. and for that i am grateful and super blessed to have such great company.

thanks niggas, you know who you are.

hit-and-run

i would just like to say to the bitch that fucking hit my car and ran. screw you. i fucking hate people like you. karma will bite you in the ass very soon, hope you're ready. where are the decent people in this world? it's common courtesy to write a note with your information on it so you can pay for the damage you have caused an innocent bystander. what the hell am i suppose to do? a perfectly good car is now scratched and dented just because i happened to park my car next to some idiot. i mean, grow some balls please. take responsibility for your own actions and don't try to screw someone else over. punk-ass. sigh.

sing sing sing

my piano teacher once told me that music is a scapegoat for when we can't describe how we feel and that music is essentially what feelings "sound like". i have carried this quote in my head ever since then and i apply it to anything musical that i happen to come across. almost always, this statement makes a lot of sense. i see my fellow orchestra musicians when they play solos or when we all play together and their sense of passion and emotions work very well with the piece we are playing. or i see my friends singing or dancing to music and their emotions match what they are doing as well. today, this statement fails me. it is so ridiculously mind-boggling that i am still scratching my head as to how...

(i literally stared at my computer screen for 10 minutes and i have no words to describe how i feel).

taking this statement into consideration for the concert i went to today, i can honestly say that i have no idea what these performers must have been feeling. pitchy? out of tune? or just plain ugly? trust me, my brutal list can go on and on. i will spare you the gory details but the gist of it is, by the end of this concert, my ears were bleeding, my brain was melting, and my eyes were tearing up (not out of joy or sadness, more like when you are peeling onions and the pain is unbearable). what a mind-numbing experience.

why hello there,

long time no see my beautiful blog. i plan on updating you a lot more from now on but because i just got off a nine hour shift at work and i'm about to ptfo...i will start tomorrow! haha