ignorance is bliss

today, i went to the park with one of my friends which isn't anything unusual for us and is practically our favorite pastime. i mean, sitting around in good weather and talking for hours, is what we do best. we share everything...feelings, thoughts, vents...everything. which is why i felt comfortable enough to tell her something that she might not want to hear or like to hear, but she needed to know nonetheless. she ended up getting kind of agitated over it and that led to me getting worked up over the entire situation. also feeling the need to make her feel better and to just drop the situation i all but too quickly regretted bringing up. which leads me to the phrase "ignorance is bliss" or is it? we go through our lives trying to decipher whether being left in the dark in a crappy situation is the best thing or if being let in on the honesty is better. to be straight, i still have no idea, even with my own preference. i like it when people are honest with me, even if it takes me a while to recover from the bluntness or harshness of it. because hey, at least i know right? but then again, maybe there are some things that are just better left unsaid, untouched, and just forgotten. to each its own i guess.

just keep swimming

even though i still have one more week of finals to go, i actually got a good taste of what summer should actually be like today. my friend and i went swimming and it was probably the most innocent fun i've had in a while. yay for swim parties, floating mat thingys, and best friends. most people our age would think that drinking, smoking, or going clubbing is the most "legit" type of fun out there, i would have to disagree. spending the day wandering around a toy store with your best friend, trying to find stuff for the pool, soaking up some rays and chlorine in the process, and winding down with anthony bourdain, kimchi, and some ramen is the way to go. partying is nice occasionally but some good old fashion fun is more thrilling in my eyes.

cheers to: pool parties, best friends, the travel channel, simple pleasures, ramen & kimchi.

boo to: only having 24 hours in a day.

sticks and stones

"screw what they think" "who cares?" "you think too much" "why do you worry so much?" believe it or not, i probably hear these four phrases more in a day then my own name. which leads me to this slightly terrifying thought. "what kind of person have i become?"

when i was younger. i honestly could care less of what people thought of me. i would wear what i like. eat what i like. and be whatever made me happy and comfortable. now that i'm older i feel like i have this wall up all the time that interferes with people's abilities to get to know me. the wall may lower from time to time with certain people or it might completely deteriorate, but only for a moment. with each day and every obstacle i face, the wall gets stronger, higher, and harder to break. someone bring me some dynamite, please.

today was a bad day

bucket list

1. watch the sun rise and set with the same person

2. have my own place with the besties

3. laugh until i cry, and then some

4. be in a dance crew

5. compose my own piece for an orchestra

6. audition for the san francisco symphony

(list in progress)

fireworks

cheers to:

- wonderful friends

- amazing fireworks

- warm nights

- summer dresses

- besties comfortable enough to pop a squat in front of you

boo to:

- horrible drivers on narrow roads

- getting your keys locked in your car

- summer school