i can't deal with people. their bizarre mannerisms, their immaturity, their logic, their reasoning, their thought process. with each passing day i feel like the amount of people i can tolerate slowly shrinks. i used to think that being alone was unbearable and completely depressing but now i think of it as a luxury. going off and doing your own errands by yourself, no rush, no pressure. being home alone, reading a book or watching tv with no one nagging you. not having to decipher people's motivations or intentions because all you have to understand is yourself. that is sheer bliss my friends. sigh sigh sigh. human beings are such horrible creations. too competitive, too heartless, too manipulative. on a lighter note, this makes me appreciate the people i feel are genuine. people i feel safe around, people i can trust, people that make me laugh. although that population is very small, it's better than being non-existent right?
cheers to: good books, naps, Helen Koh, carrots & cherry tomatoes, flight 2212, and moleskine notebooks
boo to: school, bastards, and everything else
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
hakuna matata
i seriously love lion king. no joke.
screw all the unfortunate souls that have such boring lives that they feel the need to start all those rumors and post all those pictures stating that disney is perverted for sticking subtle sexual innuendos in their movies. have you ever thought that you people are just as twisted and messed up because you guys go looking for those kinds of things? i mean seriously, go find a better hobby. i grew up with these movies so don't hate.
i had completely forgotten my intense infatuation with classic disney movies until yesterday when my friend and i watched it together via skype. when i was younger, all i could really understand was the story line and which character was which. now that i'm older i find that i notice a lot of different things that i never caught back in the day. one thing in particular made me love this movie even more. the freaking soundtrack. oh my goodness. i mean i've always known i was a music nerd and i like "old people" aka classical music but you just can't deny how amazing the soundtrack is. it's so pretty and breathtaking. this goes on the bucket list too, i want to perform this soundtrack with an amazing orchestra. music seriously keeps me sane.
along with my newfound love for the soundtrack, i have also come to realize lately that i've become an angry, resentful, and emotional person. this movie just brought me back to the time where the only worry on my mind was what's for lunch. where the only thing i hated was going to bed early. and where the only thing i would cry over was sad parts in movies. i miss simplicity. i miss hunkering down in the living room to watch a disney movie with my mom, my sister, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. i miss my problem free philosophy. this goes without saying but growing up really does suck, but at the risk of sounding too much like peter pan, i will stop there.
screw all the unfortunate souls that have such boring lives that they feel the need to start all those rumors and post all those pictures stating that disney is perverted for sticking subtle sexual innuendos in their movies. have you ever thought that you people are just as twisted and messed up because you guys go looking for those kinds of things? i mean seriously, go find a better hobby. i grew up with these movies so don't hate.
i had completely forgotten my intense infatuation with classic disney movies until yesterday when my friend and i watched it together via skype. when i was younger, all i could really understand was the story line and which character was which. now that i'm older i find that i notice a lot of different things that i never caught back in the day. one thing in particular made me love this movie even more. the freaking soundtrack. oh my goodness. i mean i've always known i was a music nerd and i like "old people" aka classical music but you just can't deny how amazing the soundtrack is. it's so pretty and breathtaking. this goes on the bucket list too, i want to perform this soundtrack with an amazing orchestra. music seriously keeps me sane.
along with my newfound love for the soundtrack, i have also come to realize lately that i've become an angry, resentful, and emotional person. this movie just brought me back to the time where the only worry on my mind was what's for lunch. where the only thing i hated was going to bed early. and where the only thing i would cry over was sad parts in movies. i miss simplicity. i miss hunkering down in the living room to watch a disney movie with my mom, my sister, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. i miss my problem free philosophy. this goes without saying but growing up really does suck, but at the risk of sounding too much like peter pan, i will stop there.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
sick of it all
currently listening to: secrets by one republic
anyone who knows me, knows that i am a person who shares what i'm feeling and what i'm thinking so frequently and with so much detail that it comes close to the brink of unnecessary. it's how i find relief amongst all the chaos, troubles, stress, and pain. i go to the people i trust the most, venting until i'm red in the face and after each habitual rant, it feels like they are carrying part of the weight with me. but lately my back is aching and shaking from all the weight i'm carrying and as hard as i try, i can't feel the same kind of relief. when you're at this kind of dead end like me, i guess anything that seems like it would help is worth a shot right? so here goes my rant. i am sick of going to work everyday, getting emotionally and physically shredded to nothing, and then crying on my drive home because of pure frustration. i am sick of dealing with intellectually stunted, narrow-minded, inconsiderate, immature people on a daily basis. i am sick of not being able to sleep because the thoughts in my head will not stop racing. i am sick of constantly being worried and scared out of my mind about situations that are beyond my control. and i am absolutely sick of having a trust issue so deep and insane that i start questioning everything and everyone around me. i've seriously had enough.
anyone who knows me, knows that i am a person who shares what i'm feeling and what i'm thinking so frequently and with so much detail that it comes close to the brink of unnecessary. it's how i find relief amongst all the chaos, troubles, stress, and pain. i go to the people i trust the most, venting until i'm red in the face and after each habitual rant, it feels like they are carrying part of the weight with me. but lately my back is aching and shaking from all the weight i'm carrying and as hard as i try, i can't feel the same kind of relief. when you're at this kind of dead end like me, i guess anything that seems like it would help is worth a shot right? so here goes my rant. i am sick of going to work everyday, getting emotionally and physically shredded to nothing, and then crying on my drive home because of pure frustration. i am sick of dealing with intellectually stunted, narrow-minded, inconsiderate, immature people on a daily basis. i am sick of not being able to sleep because the thoughts in my head will not stop racing. i am sick of constantly being worried and scared out of my mind about situations that are beyond my control. and i am absolutely sick of having a trust issue so deep and insane that i start questioning everything and everyone around me. i've seriously had enough.
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